25. Calling my father


‘Sorry. I’m Matthew. We met few days ago.’

‘Oh, so you’ve met. Do you know what happened to her, then? I don’t think she’s in a mood for a date.’ And he spit the word ‘date’ as it was poisoned.

‘I know. My grandma was in the shop when it happened, don’t worry.’ Matthew started to be nervous too.

‘It’s okay Thomas,’ I said, ‘come in.’

And then we just talked and pet his dog and it helped me feel better for a while. But the thing with my father I just can’t shake off.

I visit Mom in hospital every day. Every day after school, I go to the hospital and I’m with her for about an hour. Meanwhile, Alex picks up Summer and then they come for a visit for about half an hour. Summer is so sweet, she’s talking to Mom about what happened at her school today and what she had for a lunch etc. Then the three of us head home. Alex is visiting Mom every morning as well, before work. He takes Summer to school and the drop at the hospital for a while, brings Mom some flowers from our garden (or our neighbours’). I didn’t sleep very well last night because I was thinking about my father constantly. To be honest, I didn’t sleep at all. This morning when Alex and Summer left, I went to Mom and Alex’s bedroom and looked for her address book. She’s always got an address book, since I can remember. So I opened her drawer and hoped for the best. To my surprise, my father’s address and phone number were first on the list.

‘So he lives in London,’ I said to myself. ‘Maybe I’d met him if I went to London with my school. If I did, I wouldn’t even know he’s my father. It’s weird, isn’t it?’

I don’t know how long I was standing there, thinking about my father and Mom and if calling him and letting him know what happened really is a good idea. Seemed like an awesome idea at night, but now… I’m not so sure anymore. But few months ago, when Mom and Alex both lost their job and almost lost their lives, I promised myself to live as it is my last day and do something that scares me whenever I could. Possibly every day. So I’m standing here now, Mom’s address book in one hand and a phone in the other. I secretly hope he will never pick it up.


‘Uhm, hello? Can I speak to David, please?’

‘I am David. What can I help you with?’

‘Uhm… It’s Izzy.’

‘…’ Silence.

‘…’ Another minute of silence.

‘Hello? Are you there?’ I ask.

‘Yes, sorry. It’s just a big surprise. A huge surprise to be honest.’

‘I know. I’m calling because my Mom, Amanda, is in coma and I thought I let you know.’

‘Oh my God, what happened?!’

‘She was in the shop and then someone came in and that someone had a gun and…’ I can’t continue because I’m crying now. Again. I look like an idiot with puffy eyes. Not only eyes, but my whole face is red and puffed and disgusting for sure. I look like this since ‘the coma’.

‘Oh no, Izzy, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry. I just love your Mom and wanted to know what happened to her.’

‘I-I understand. Wait, you love her?’

‘Of course I do.’ And then I heard some woman say ‘Honey? Who are you talking to? Come back to bed again, pleaseeeee!’ in the back.

‘Sorry to interrupt you. Goodbye.’ And I hung up. I know he probably has his own family now and I don’t know why hearing some woman upset me, because I didn’t even know him. But the way he said he loves my Mom seemed like she’s the only woman in his life.


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